I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
