One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
