she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
