***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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