it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
