just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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