O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
