She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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