Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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