gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
