Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
