where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Enjoy the penises
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
