Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
