i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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