Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize