He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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