at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
