Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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