Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
