i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
