so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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