Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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