I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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