I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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