Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Couch. On fire.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
