Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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