I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
