Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
