what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
