How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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