yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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