How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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