what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
