doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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