Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
