My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
