"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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