i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
