): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
