I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
