He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize