guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize