How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
