I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
