i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
