so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
