i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize