So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize