don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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