I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
