I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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