i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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