she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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