My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
