Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
is wine microwaveable?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
