Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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