I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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