Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
