He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
