so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
