Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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