She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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