The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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