theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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