I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
