i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
