you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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